Sunrise, Sunset
by Ink Cat
Summary: Sea salt clings to her eyelashes like crystal tears. She is the sugarcrunch of hot sand beneath bare toes, and she is sweet summer sweat and the scent of the sand dunes at twilight' A character study of Allison Cameron, written in free verse.


A/N. This is a bit of an experimental piece I've been toying with for awhile now. It's written in free verse, and it follows Cameron's progression, her relationships, and how she's changed as a character over the years.

**---**

_Sunrise, sunset  
Sunrise, sunset  
Swiftly fly the years  
One season following another  
Laden with laughter... and tears.  
_- Fiddler on the Roof

--

**06.  
**She is rosy red apples and  
Warm, frothy milk  
Asleep under the quilt her great-grandmother had made  
For a someday-child  
Dark curls against a pale, chubby cheek  
She glows with health and loveliness  
And her parents call her their pride and joy.

**13.  
**She moves to the coast with her mother  
Papa's gone but she's okay  
Hurt, but okay  
She is glitter-winds, full of big dreams  
And small prayers  
Sea salt clings to her eyelashes like crystal tears  
She is the sugar-crunch of  
Hot sand beneath bare toes,  
And she is sweet summer sweat and the scent  
Of the sand-dunes at twilight

Her mother dies with the season.

**18.**  
She is angry and bitter and afraid  
And so, so tired of fighting, of  
Constantly clawing her way to the top of the pile  
Sometimes she wants to die

Allison Cameron wonders for the first time if there is a God.

The only thing she took with her when she left Encinitas was  
A conch shell she found out among the breakers  
Pearly and hard  
Like the curled fist of the sea.

**20.  
**He tells her he loves her over cheap wine and crappy Thai takeout  
For some reason, that makes it mean even more.

**21.**  
She buries her wedding ring with Daniel.  
It doesn't seem fair to hang onto it without him.

She graduates at the top of her class.

No one asks her where she is going, and  
When she leaves for Scottsdale and doesn't come back,  
It's not like there's any family left behind  
To miss her or wonder where she went

No ties to bind her.

**25.**  
She hates the desert.  
It is too much like Encinitas; it drives her insane.

Her internship at the Mayo Clinic ends.  
The night before she leaves (again)  
She hikes five miles out into the desert,  
Buries the conch  
And drives for five days straight.  
She arrives in Jersey at three in the morning.

Here neon taints the sky  
Awash with car exhaust fumes, stale cigarette smoke  
And cheap cologne  
The shadows are full of the dark flash of steel  
And the slick sound of a switchknife being released

It is nothing like her inherently safe golden beaches.  
It is perfect.

**26.**  
There is something in his eyes  
Past the warriness and mocking,  
The sarcasm and taunts as he assesses her  
There are some scars that don't heal.  
Ever.  
Allison would know.

She knows that whatever happens,  
She needs this job

It will make her better.  
Not perfect, but better.

Perhaps he senses something in her, too  
Because he calls her that evening.  
She's in.

**26.5.**  
She never _expected_ to fall in love with him  
And it's so _different _from Daniel  
But she finds her oceans in his eyes  
And for once, she feels like remembering  
Might be okay.

He's got his secrets  
And she's got her heart on her sleeve.

She should've known better.

**27.**  
She's telling everyone she's over him.

No one believes her.

Unfortunately, she's not exactly surprised.

**28.**  
She doesn't understand him, but thinks that perhaps  
There are certain people  
You just keep coming back to.

She dares to hope she's one of his.

She has loved him behind doors  
And through locks  
And trembling under the covers like a child

That winter, she kisses him.

It feels good to finally come clean  
He goes back to being inscrutible  
She goes back to being lonely

She realizes that she will be 30 in less than two years.

Maybe she doesn't have forever to play games  
After all.

That spring, she assuages her loneliness

That summer, she makes promises she doesn't really want to keep  
But she's getting older  
And she's going to need _someone  
_And if she doesn't really love him...

Well.

They don't talk about that.

**29.  
**And oh, he is a cunning man  
But when she walks away, he has no words

And it's the most satisfying thing she's felt  
In a long time  
Even though it hurts a little

She bleaches her hair  
Gets a tan  
And paints her mouth red  
She thinks about changing her name,  
But decides it would be  
Too self-aggrandizing or nihilistic  
Or another big word like that.  
It's a silly idea anyway.

She'll always be little Ally Cameron.


End file.
